Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
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I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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