Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
