you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize