sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
