She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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