I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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