I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm too high and old for this...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
