When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize