Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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