I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
