do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
