everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
