:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
