You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
