i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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