Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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