Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
