You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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