Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
