I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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