Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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