dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
