turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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