are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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