i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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