I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
