I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize