i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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