3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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