Your tits are I can't wait for
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
