Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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