jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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