I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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