Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
