i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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