i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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