you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
