Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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