We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
