the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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