Michael Bay diarrhea
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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