just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
