when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
