No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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