Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
wrigley field is MILF paradise
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
