I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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