in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
