Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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