Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
