Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize