I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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