I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
