When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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