Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
