her vagine was all disorganized.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
