it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
