Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize