I cockslap morals
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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