Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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