hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
