last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
