Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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