yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
