I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize