she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
