Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
