Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
