I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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