Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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