My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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